A Special Message for Yinz Frenz from Chickie Siciliano

Composure

Composure
for Sonny Rollins

Every note I hit is wrong.
I hit it too hard or I hold it too long.
I play it too slow or I play it too fast.
Or I play it just right without knowing what's next.
Hearing the gap          I start to panic.
My left hand goes in search of the tonic.
My right hand sends out a sonic array:
Surely one of these notes must be okay?
On my way to it I hear something strange,
So I back right up and play it again.
There's something to it so I keep on diggin'
Trying to get this new stuff to fit in,
Hoping it doesn't all sound like crap
As I start trying to find my way back.
Before I get there, it all falls apart
My right hand and left hand grope in the dark.
Mercifully, the piece is now over
As I sit weeping and try to recover.

On listening back the all angst is gone!
So is the feeling I've done something wrong.
All that is left are the notes of this song.