The Most Powerful Force in the Universe
Discovered Near Flint, Michigan
August 1, 2018 -- In the suburban community of Grand Blanc, Michigan, down Saginaw Avenue from the city of Flint, scientists have located what they believe to be the source of all energy -- and, therefore, all matter -- and the most powerful force in the known universe.This power source sits on the edge of Thread Creek, a tributary of the Flint River. There, a small cylinder less than five feet tall radiates energy at an astonishing rate. Scientists call this energized cylinder "RoseAnnO'Keefe," and they've been tracking it for 90 years!
Origins
Fifty years ago, NASA began picking up signals from RoseAnn indicating the energy source was in the Detroit area. However, RoseAnn is clever and continually transforms its energy into useful community service.
Transformation
Often disguised as a mother, RoseAnn is capable of quickly transforming into an autonomous driving vehicle, a medical services provider or a blood drive coordinator, as needed. It sheds enough energy to fuel nine satellites and still has enough power left to cook, clean and illuminate an entire household.
Shortly after the turn of the Millennium, O'Keefe went supernova and RoseAnn lost her orbit. Her signal was picked up a few years later in the Flint area where it was tracked to the maternity ward at a hospital where satellites are launched seven days a week.
This time disguised as a grandmother, RoseAnn was tracked to the injured infants ward. Unable to make her own satellites anymore, she took to repairing damaged satellites.
Research
Once they had tracked the most powerful force in the universe to the banks of Thread Creek, scientists began to study how it worked. They subjected RoseAnn to monitoring, fluid draws, x-rays, scans and biopsies. They analyzed the numbers and tracked the results for decades. What they found is truly astonishing!
RoseAnn runs on Low Orbit Volunteer Enthusiasm. It's a parasite that feeds off boosting the welfare of others. It uses community service as a lever to create massive energy flows used to launch and repair satellites. Low Orbit Volunteer Enthusiasm has no weight or mass. The most powerful force in the universe, it can only be studied by the trail it leaves behind.
Conclusions
Scientists are certain of one thing: the incredible force on the banks of Thread Creek shows no signs of diminishing. They expect RoseAnn's light to remain visible for billions of years to come.
