Come one, come all!

Don't miss this once in a lifetime opportunity! You've never seen a CALENDAR like this before! Now every month can be a whole new opportunity to live the life you've always dreamed of-- and especially to pay a visit to your all- time best friend, the 'Lovey- Dovey' Monster!!! You'll flip your lid at these extraordinarily low prices! You'll go for a loop at the guaranteed top of the line quality! You'll think you died and went to the eternal pleasant resting place preferred by the religious denomination of your choosing! Don't miss this unbelievably fabulous offer! Wait!- you thought that was all? If you call in the next 24 hours, you'll also receive a stupendous surprise gift!

What are you waiting for!!!!!!