Advice to Paterfamilia on A Sunday

Advice to Paterfamilia on A Sunday

Come blaggards and feebles
Those prone to the groan
For there's wise to get up
contained in this pome

There's a stick for a dog
and some carrots for hares
and for slackin two-leggers
some la-z-boy chairs

I've got pickles and peanuts
Pretzels and Pop
Be ye walkin by,
please make for to stop

I'm prepared to be preaching
pre-prone to down-talk
Yes the pensivest salesman
is settin up shop

The first of me lessons
Is quit tappin yer leg
Quit jugglin nothin
and spoilin' the bed

The second is this:
forget of the first
and if tappin's yer like
then be quenchin' yer thirst

The third is a fourth
of the fifth out of six
put cream in yer coffee
tornade with a stick

The fourth is a paper
wrapped yellow and sag,
Read up with the Coff
Read down with a Bag.

The fifth is four times
that which was the third
post coffee-with-cream
Ye must watch-up the birds

Having watched all the birds
Of the seed takes their picks
dropping binocs in shelves
must scrabble to six

The sixth is a calling
some call a disease
The sixth is a work
For the Brothers to please

The Sixth is slapped up
tape stapley nailed
To a board in a ship
in a mind that's set sail

The Sixth is a something
like flowers or cheese
not strict-hard for working
but loose-goosed to please

The Sixth is a scribbly
dance of a tale
a treacle stream dribble
sent by the night mail

The Sixth is announced
from a wide and soft throne
It starts with a sentence
and ends with a groan

The sixth is a story
From a paw filled with might
for young cubs to wonder
about in the night.