Stupid Old Santa

Stupid old Santa
Stupid Christmas tree
Stupid red stocking
Prob’ly not for me

Make believe reindeer
Phony flying sleigh
Irritating carols
Hate it when they play

This time of year
I live in fear
Of holiday expressions

Yes I’m sorry to say
That Christmas day
Fills me with such depression

Those annoying tunes
Where some loser croons
“Santa’s oh so great”
They fill me with hate

Buying all those toys
That don’t spread no joy
Just a bunch of junk
For some little punk

There’ll be no elves
Filling up my shelves
With goodies of all description

No naughty list
No mistletoe-friend kissed
Just Valium by prescription

Keep your gift-wrapped garbage
Keep your tinseled tree
Keep your stupid Christmas
Far away from me

Just because it’s offered
I don’t have to take
On the other hand
I do love fruit cake

And as I reflect
Why should I reject
A gift or well-phrased greeting

Warming by the log
A little cup of nog
A candy cane for eating

Maybe this year
With a little cheer
I won’t find it so depressing

So my dear friend
My poetry will end
With a stupid-old Christmas blessing