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Monday, March 6, 2017
Lord of the Rings Poetry Continued
Barry O'Keefe Twunce wuz a wiz. Call 'im Sharkey. From high towers he shouted malarkey. But the hobz up'n shoved 'im, Even squirmtung unloved 'im Thus concluding his crupt oligarchy.
Two hobbits named Merry and Pippin We’re hanging with Treebeard and sippin’ Good beer and good weed Made them merry, indeed When Gandalf came those boys were trippin’
There once was a Balrog in Moria, It's a long tale, but chill, I won't bore ya, Elessar, Dunedain, Stood to fight Durin's Bane, But Gandalf said "I'll do it for ya"
I'm sorry to arrive so late to such a great party. Here goes:
Smaug, the great king under mountain, Brought fear wherever one found him, But he tired of men, So slept in his den, With the stone and the mist to enshroud him,
He languished for years on his hoard, Sedate and perhaps a bit bored, He once thought of leaving, But gold's tough for heaving, So went back to snozzing and snored
One day he awoke to a noise, And saw what appeared to be boys, The pests who would rob-it, Turned out to be hobbit, Together with bunches of dwarves
Smaug, in all of his fury, Rashly flew out in a flurry, He went to the lake, Some lives he did take, But soon found that vengeance can't cure thee,
Bard's arrow flew up with a rush, Which caused Smaug to bleed with a gush, The dragon was slain The mountain king's reign, Was ended by only a thrush
I am definitely late to the party, but I've been greatly enjoying all of these, and would like to contribute my own humble offering:
Once behind Bag End our Samwise Overheard Master Gandalf a-dram'tize A lord mighty scary A quest oh-so hairy When all'n he wanted was lamb pies
'Twas then thrust upon our poor Samwise A burden much huger than ham size His courage was tested His mettle none bested I'd give 'im of all of them gran' prize.
Aye, tis jolly to meet the lilting limerickal lyricism of newcomers to these parts, Sarah and Donald, both telling a whole story via multi-part limericks.
There once was a bad eye named Sauron, Just continu'lly gettin' his scour on; All about he did seek, Oh, but Out he did Freak, When the hobbit put that ring of pow'r on!!!
A pair for your consideration, not real jokey, but, as Eeyore says, we can't all, and some don't:
Samwise stood by the silvery waters, Frodo told him, "Although your heart totters, You'll do well without me, I must cross o'er the sea, And you must go beget sons and daughters."
The ride home, dark and silent, alack! Yet glad windows shone out of the black; Rosie opened the door, Handed him Elanor, Samwise sat, and he said, "Well, I'm back!"
Quite good. That is a great moment in the story, when Sam returns for the next chapter of his life. I wish there had been another Tolkien novel about Sam's life with no real plot. Just about Sam and Rosie raising some kids. Maybe they take over the green dragon but it goes bust and it looks like they will loose their hobbit hole but then Sam's gardening work takes off and the kids turn out all right in the end.
There once was two fellers from out yonder With a kinship they didn't want to squander They wondered to Doom Then wandered on Home But the best was the ride on a condor
There once was an Elf King in Mirkwood, He locked up some Dwarves like a jerk would, He thought he was hot But it seems he was not Oh snap! Bilbo's ring sure does work good!
Revised after sleep. My goal was to rhyme all five lines.
There once was two fellers who pondered What life might be in lands out yonder They started to wander To dark lands past Gondor And they they flew home on a condor
I think I like the first version much better, I like to think of the whole story being reviewed, and the ride home on a huge bird being assessed the awesomest.
Théoden was the high king of horses Wormtongue took him slightly off courses he went mad for a while then in battle stood trial Now his end he no longer remorses
Shelob was a nasty old creature Who had eight distinguishing features. Despite her advantages In shaking appandages, very few lived to say "pleased to meetchas"
There was a strange pup called a warg He looked like a wolf from a morgue He was nasty and bitey and he took down the mighty but you can't blame him, he's just a dorg
Gentle hobbits have hair on their feet do they comb it to make it look neat? do they style their toe fur to a trendy coiffure then use hairspray to make it complete?
Thought the low-laid out Hob, Merriadoc, Well, I jabbed the Nazgul, now I'm out of luck What with bad i'm feeling in this house of healing While my buddies are battling: It sho' doth suck.
Two hobbits named Merry and Pippin
ReplyDeleteWe’re hanging with Treebeard and sippin’
Good beer and good weed
Made them merry, indeed
When Gandalf came those boys were trippin’
😆😆😆😄
DeleteThere once was a Balrog in Moria,
ReplyDeleteIt's a long tale, but chill, I won't bore ya,
Elessar, Dunedain,
Stood to fight Durin's Bane,
But Gandalf said "I'll do it for ya"
Perfect limerick, Maw: big story in a little space with no clutter, and funny.
Deletetonk u
DeleteI'm sorry to arrive so late to such a great party. Here goes:
ReplyDeleteSmaug, the great king under mountain,
Brought fear wherever one found him,
But he tired of men,
So slept in his den,
With the stone and the mist to enshroud him,
He languished for years on his hoard,
Sedate and perhaps a bit bored,
He once thought of leaving,
But gold's tough for heaving,
So went back to snozzing and snored
One day he awoke to a noise,
And saw what appeared to be boys,
The pests who would rob-it,
Turned out to be hobbit,
Together with bunches of dwarves
Smaug, in all of his fury,
Rashly flew out in a flurry,
He went to the lake,
Some lives he did take,
But soon found that vengeance can't cure thee,
Bard's arrow flew up with a rush,
Which caused Smaug to bleed with a gush,
The dragon was slain
The mountain king's reign,
Was ended by only a thrush
Barry, Sharkey, malarkey, oligarchy!!! Good one!
ReplyDeleteA delightful contribution from Don. Very nice to see a five-part series and I love using Smaug. I love the rhymes.
ReplyDeleteA five part Smaug Limerick, and I love that it ended with the thrush
ReplyDeleteGlorious, D
ReplyDeleteI am definitely late to the party, but I've been greatly enjoying all of these, and would like to contribute my own humble offering:
ReplyDeleteOnce behind Bag End our Samwise
Overheard Master Gandalf a-dram'tize
A lord mighty scary
A quest oh-so hairy
When all'n he wanted was lamb pies
'Twas then thrust upon our poor Samwise
A burden much huger than ham size
His courage was tested
His mettle none bested
I'd give 'im of all of them gran' prize.
Sarah! Welcome to Limerick land! Good ones!
ReplyDeleteWell this is joyous, indeed! To awake to a sweet verse from Sarah about the sturdy Sam Wise. So filled with great rhymes, humor and...lamb pies.
ReplyDeleteWhen Sam said "I wonder if we shall ever be put into songs or tales" little did he imagine such an honor as this verse.
Aye, tis jolly to meet the lilting limerickal lyricism of newcomers to these parts, Sarah and Donald, both telling a whole story via multi-part limericks.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a bad eye named Sauron,
ReplyDeleteJust continu'lly gettin' his scour on;
All about he did seek,
Oh, but Out he did Freak,
When the hobbit put that ring of pow'r on!!!
Out did he freak😆😆😆😆😆
ReplyDeleteI just finished Fellowship Ring
ReplyDeleteIt's a magical, tragical thing
Now I'm spending my hours
By perusing Two Towers
Then I'll take up Return of the King
There's thinking outside the box, paw, as is your wont. Is it autobiographically accurate?
ReplyDeleteIt is. I was trying to do a non-fiction Lord of the Rings limerick.
DeleteA pair for your consideration, not real jokey, but, as Eeyore says, we can't all, and some don't:
ReplyDeleteSamwise stood by the silvery waters,
Frodo told him, "Although your heart totters,
You'll do well without me,
I must cross o'er the sea,
And you must go beget sons and daughters."
The ride home, dark and silent, alack!
Yet glad windows shone out of the black;
Rosie opened the door,
Handed him Elanor,
Samwise sat, and he said, "Well, I'm back!"
Quite good. That is a great moment in the story, when Sam returns for the next chapter of his life. I wish there had been another Tolkien novel about Sam's life with no real plot. Just about Sam and Rosie raising some kids. Maybe they take over the green dragon but it goes bust and it looks like they will loose their hobbit hole but then Sam's gardening work takes off and the kids turn out all right in the end.
DeleteI am in agreementation with D. What I especially like is the melancholy tone and lovely recounting of the return home. There and back again, indeed.
DeleteIn many ways, Sam is the hero of the story, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteThere once was two fellers from out yonder
ReplyDeleteWith a kinship they didn't want to squander
They wondered to Doom
Then wandered on Home
But the best was the ride on a condor
I'm laughing !!
ReplyDeleteThere once was an Elf King in Mirkwood,
ReplyDeleteHe locked up some Dwarves like a jerk would,
He thought he was hot
But it seems he was not
Oh snap! Bilbo's ring sure does work good!
Revised after sleep. My goal was to rhyme all five lines.
ReplyDeleteThere once was two fellers who pondered
What life might be in lands out yonder
They started to wander
To dark lands past Gondor
And they they flew home on a condor
I think I like the first version much better, I like to think of the whole story being reviewed, and the ride home on a huge bird being assessed the awesomest.
DeleteI am astonder
ReplyDeleteThéoden was the high king of horses
ReplyDeleteWormtongue took him slightly off courses
he went mad for a while
then in battle stood trial
Now his end he no longer remorses
Excellent!
DeleteA favorite of mine.
DeleteShelob was a nasty old creature
ReplyDeleteWho had eight distinguishing features.
Despite her advantages
In shaking appandages,
very few lived to say "pleased to meetchas"
Good Tom!
ReplyDeleteNo one can beatchas
Tom, mighty nice!
ReplyDeleteThere was a strange pup called a warg
ReplyDeleteHe looked like a wolf from a morgue
He was nasty and bitey
and he took down the mighty
but you can't blame him, he's just a dorg
Gentle hobbits have hair on their feet
ReplyDeletedo they comb it to make it look neat?
do they style their toe fur
to a trendy coiffure
then use hairspray to make it complete?
Charming!
DeleteHere's one from the sick-bed:
ReplyDeleteThought the low-laid out Hob, Merriadoc,
Well, I jabbed the Nazgul, now I'm out of luck
What with bad i'm feeling
in this house of healing
While my buddies are battling: It sho' doth suck.
Delirious!
ReplyDeleteThree Trolls, name of Tom, Bill and Bert,
ReplyDeleteHad bagged up some Dwarvish Dessert.
But argumentation,
'Bout food preparation,
Has left them forever inert.